Dear Maria,
I'm always mad intimidated by the first entry. In any journal I've ever written, especially the "real life" ones, it takes me a while to regain my voice. So bear with me while I sound really awkward and on-the-surface.
I'm at work; the mail guy just came by. His cologne is very overwhelming. His assistant also wears something strong, but much more pleasant and low-key. Not so power-swagger-old-spice. I'm thinking it's either diesel, or abercrombie & fitch, something vanilla based. I wonder what their office must smell like. A whole lotta man and.. paper.
Speaking of vanilla, I broke the bank last night determined to purchase luxury items for myself. I trekked to Sabon, a high-endish all-natural soap store chain in the city, and somehow spent close to $50.00 on 2 things. I was determined to take a bath that night -- the wind chills have been hitting the teens here girl!! -- but I don't know if I told you, I'm terrible at taking baths. They stress me out. I fail at them. So in an effort to make this a good experience, I purchased mineral powder and an oil soap. Tsk.
And then on the way to the station stumbled past a stationary store selling ALL sorts of notebooks. It was heaven for me; I spent an hour selecting 5 notebooks for my classes next semester. Regular ass notebooks. Chosen based on the color of the lines, how close together they were, how light, how flexible. Next I will travel to queens for the right pens.
No regrets, it was a retail therapy kind of day. I shopped for myself with a vengeance. The most satisfying sprees I have are at like, a Duane Reade or a Staples. Sometimes even a supermarket for groceries, depending on the mood. I LOVE shopping for school supplies, but my options are so limited.
It's the selection process perhaps, the heavy weighing, that spends me. Clothes don't do it for me as much. Shopping for clothes always stresses me out a little.
I've been repressing feelings of resentment and frustration when it comes to funds. For some reason, this year I decided to try Christmas (for the first time? Or the first time to memory, anyway) at the house of Song. Ha... boy. I don't know what gave me that bright idea, especially since I won't have a disposable income any more. The money I saved is all I got - what was I thinking? (Matter fact - that's probably what's spurring the idea. Kind of like, deciding to go on a diet, and then eating nothing but burgers and ramen for 3 weeks straight.
What. You don't do that?
Uh... me neither.)
Love,
J
You're at work?! I'm so confuzzled. When's your last day? I feel like I'm usually better at keeping track of important events that are happening in the lives of my VIPs. Chalk one up to the age haze!
ReplyDeleteLOL! You've mentioned before how you fail at having baths! It's like you're uncomfortable with the idea of being comfortable. LOL Kudos for trying out new thangs in the bathtub; I hope they helped! BTW, what's mineral powder? It sounds like a make-up, but I'm guessing it's not since you use it at bathtime. SMH I'm really not up on spa-speak the way I should be.
Ah, stationary! I love the smell of any place that sells books. This fact probably figures into my shame and sadness at wanting a Kindle. I tell myself that owning a Kindle is environmentally friendly and will allow me to read all the time without toting a bunch of books, and that when I move back to NYC I won't have to worry about the dozen huge crates of paperbacks, but a part of me feels like it's dying. Maybe it's because I worked at Penguin and I saw the development of a book cover. Maybe it's because I'm a writer, and I can't imagine the same kind of happiness flowing from a photo of me holding a Kindle with my book in it. Maybe I'm just old school... All I know is, the fact that I didn't follow my opportunities in the field of publishing ain't looking so bad. They're downsizing at an incredible rate, and pretty soon they'll probably go the way of the music industry: a handful of big places squeezing everyone out, and their ranks closed and diluted.
Ya know what I miss? RETAIL THERAPY You mentioned it and I thought, "Dammit. I wanna go to Beacon's Closet." I had sooo much fun that day with you, and I feel bad that I never followed up with Diana on my offer to go. Shopping here is... well, I'm not sure. I haven't really done it yet. My purchases have been limited to groceries, school necessities (pantyhose + slips!), a kick-ass bag that I use for school, and two pairs of shoes (also bought with the intention of school use). Wait. I'm seeing a pattern. School? It's disrupting my retail routine. Not that I've ever really been into buying sprees or anything, but it's kind of sad that the only time I splurge on myself is when school validates it. *lightbulb* Maybe then it's not really a splurge. Wow. Then it's even MORE sad.
I'm glad you don't have buyer's remorse! You're busting your butt, girl. You deserve a little somethin' somethin' for yourself. Speaking of busting your butt, how are classes? I'm already forgetting when semesters start in the States. The Spring semester starts in... February, right? LOL Wow. That mindfart was embarrassing! Not only did I not remember when the Spring semester starts, I completely blanked on what month it is RIGHT NOW. SMH. Need sleep. LOL
Ah, Christmas. I hope you get some nice swag. I know you probably busted the bank account to get your fam some choice holiday gifts.
I kind of miss the cold! I wish we could meet up for tea or Starbucks and have one of our gab sessions. Thank God for the internet! :)