Okay, so I'm chatting with one of my aunts and we're talking about my dad, our personal problems with my dad, and how my dad is a bad influence on my uncle (who, as far as anyone can tell, didn't start cheating on his wife until my dad started filling his head with "You're the man. Do what you want. Who is she? She's just your wife."), and at one point my aunt gets lost in what she's saying and goes on for quite a bit. I'm following her switch from English to Tagalog, listening to her complain about my dad and wondering where he got his bad habits from, and somewhere in there she mentions one of my dad's latest Filipino girlfriends, and how my dad's supposedly paying this girl's rent so that she can live closer to our neighborhood, and how my dad's telling my uncle to check up on this girl to make sure he hasn't replaced him because, as my aunt put it, "there's a baby involved."
Backstory: My dad came to the Philippines back in February, and right after he came back, his phone blew up with Tagalog texts that were the usual girlfriend stuff, I love you, I miss you, blah blah blah... What surprised and deeply offended me was that my dad replied by repeating I love you, I miss you, blah blah blah - I mean, he doesn't say "I love you" to my mom, and he's gonna text it to this chick?! *deep breath* I know that my dad doesn't fuck around with Fil-Ams. He likes his Filipina pussy either the "FOB Fila" variety or the "pure" kind, aka young, naive, slutty, and never left the islands. (I don't know if the ho who came to the house is the girl in question, or if she's another of my dad's girlfriends.)
When my aunt mentions a girl from back in February, I immediately remember the texts. Then I catch her "baby" talk, and allow her to continue her ramble. When she's done, I say, "So my dad has another kid?" and my aunt's all "Another kid? Huh? Where'd you get that from?" And I'm all, "Uh- you. You just said so." My aunt shrugs her shoulders, looks away, and changes the subject. I sensed there was no point in keeping with that line of questioning.
So there's some chance that my dad has another kid. And this kid, if s/he was conceived back in February/March, is YOUNGER THAN RILEY. I've always wanted to adopt, and this looks like a perfect opportunity, because: 1) the kid would already be related to me, 2) this girl is probably some wayward 20-something without a real job or any higher education-
Okay, that last part? That could also apply to me. And I'm being all elitist, assuming that I can raise this baby better than this girl, simply because I'm more affluent and can bring the kid to the States. That's bad, I know. What's worse is my perverse need to torture my dad. I'm not sure what I want to torture him for anymore. Maybe it's all the crap he's put me and my family through. Maybe it's all the years that I couldn't have healthy relationships. Maybe it's the rivalry my dad and I have always had, our competition to outdo each other. But I can't deny that whatever it is, it figures into my desire to adopt this baby.
Rob and I talked about it, and even if this baby didn't have all the weirdness attached to it, Rob's just not into adoption. If we have a whole mess o' kids, he wants to have em the old fashioned way.
This is exactly how all of my weird decisions/stories always start. I want to do something, and there's an itch in my system. It probably doesn't make sense, and there's probably a whole buncha controversy surrounding my desire, but that just makes it more appealing to me. So I become a dom, or move to the Philippines, or... adopt a baby?
I tell myself that just because I'm making enough money for it and I'm in full-on "mommy mode", that doesn't mean I should do it. And the facts that 1) Rob doesn't want to adopt and 2) this baby has lots of weirdness attached to it are definite reasons I shouldn't do it. But the itch... It's undeniable.
what?
ReplyDelete-J
Okay, so I'm chatting with one of my aunts and we're talking about my dad, our personal problems with my dad, and how my dad is a bad influence on my uncle (who, as far as anyone can tell, didn't start cheating on his wife until my dad started filling his head with "You're the man. Do what you want. Who is she? She's just your wife."), and at one point my aunt gets lost in what she's saying and goes on for quite a bit. I'm following her switch from English to Tagalog, listening to her complain about my dad and wondering where he got his bad habits from, and somewhere in there she mentions one of my dad's latest Filipino girlfriends, and how my dad's supposedly paying this girl's rent so that she can live closer to our neighborhood, and how my dad's telling my uncle to check up on this girl to make sure he hasn't replaced him because, as my aunt put it, "there's a baby involved."
ReplyDeleteBackstory: My dad came to the Philippines back in February, and right after he came back, his phone blew up with Tagalog texts that were the usual girlfriend stuff, I love you, I miss you, blah blah blah... What surprised and deeply offended me was that my dad replied by repeating I love you, I miss you, blah blah blah - I mean, he doesn't say "I love you" to my mom, and he's gonna text it to this chick?! *deep breath* I know that my dad doesn't fuck around with Fil-Ams. He likes his Filipina pussy either the "FOB Fila" variety or the "pure" kind, aka young, naive, slutty, and never left the islands. (I don't know if the ho who came to the house is the girl in question, or if she's another of my dad's girlfriends.)
When my aunt mentions a girl from back in February, I immediately remember the texts. Then I catch her "baby" talk, and allow her to continue her ramble. When she's done, I say, "So my dad has another kid?" and my aunt's all "Another kid? Huh? Where'd you get that from?" And I'm all, "Uh- you. You just said so." My aunt shrugs her shoulders, looks away, and changes the subject. I sensed there was no point in keeping with that line of questioning.
So there's some chance that my dad has another kid. And this kid, if s/he was conceived back in February/March, is YOUNGER THAN RILEY. I've always wanted to adopt, and this looks like a perfect opportunity, because: 1) the kid would already be related to me, 2) this girl is probably some wayward 20-something without a real job or any higher education-
Okay, that last part? That could also apply to me. And I'm being all elitist, assuming that I can raise this baby better than this girl, simply because I'm more affluent and can bring the kid to the States. That's bad, I know. What's worse is my perverse need to torture my dad. I'm not sure what I want to torture him for anymore. Maybe it's all the crap he's put me and my family through. Maybe it's all the years that I couldn't have healthy relationships. Maybe it's the rivalry my dad and I have always had, our competition to outdo each other. But I can't deny that whatever it is, it figures into my desire to adopt this baby.
ReplyDeleteRob and I talked about it, and even if this baby didn't have all the weirdness attached to it, Rob's just not into adoption. If we have a whole mess o' kids, he wants to have em the old fashioned way.
This is exactly how all of my weird decisions/stories always start. I want to do something, and there's an itch in my system. It probably doesn't make sense, and there's probably a whole buncha controversy surrounding my desire, but that just makes it more appealing to me. So I become a dom, or move to the Philippines, or... adopt a baby?
I tell myself that just because I'm making enough money for it and I'm in full-on "mommy mode", that doesn't mean I should do it. And the facts that 1) Rob doesn't want to adopt and 2) this baby has lots of weirdness attached to it are definite reasons I shouldn't do it. But the itch... It's undeniable.